What a massive ball ache

Five words....


First Year Of Uni OVER


Another set of five words....


What A Massive Ball Ache



So now thats cleared up, I can tell you that not only have I neglected this blog (again) I have also seem to have neglected my social life. What happened to those summers where everyday was different, there was always a man with a plan you could count on. No not this summer, instead so far I have done ziltch, zero, nothing, nada, neet, f*ccck all.  MINUS My trip to Manchester with a group of my friends. That was hilllarrrrr-eeee-us. Then of course the nights out in Newquay, Sailors + Chy getting crunk to my favourites such as "No Diggity". My first visit to Torquay!! That was defintely an experience. And of course working, which is always a joy.


But, as luck would have it - things are looking up. On the cards so far going to the Olympics, Leeds Fest, Gay Pride, Paris, Roller Derby and Pole dancing lessons.... Oh yes you did read that right.

Although I do have something to brag about ... I've been asked to be in a new film AGAIN. (Only as an Extra, sooooo don't hold your breathe to see my name in the credits at the end of the film, which by the way is soon to be announced!) Rumours are Rachel McAdams is in it.



Now all I gotta do is MAKE SOME DOLLLAAAA to do all these things.

She just cant cope that's why it's so beautiful

What have I got to say about this, apart from the fact that it is my life. Do you even understand what she's saying because I do and it's true. 1,2,3,4 underwater 1,2,3,4 underwater.

My month of living out of a suitcase

                                                                                             

  

 

                                                                               
                                                                    

February has been a rather interesting month for me! I literally feel like I've been living out of a suitcase.

Spent most of the month up north - firstly starting with my trip to Hartlepool (where my dad and his side of the family are from). It was great seeing the fam ! Lost my Mecca Bingo virginity - can't say it was pleasant but it was definitely an experience, who knew people took bingo so seriously?! Got all dolled up wearing dress and heels out which can I just say I NEVER do. Bare legs and everything. But I thought no-one knew me up here so why not - fuck it! Got extremely drunk - the smell of jager still haunts me after that night. Got asked if I had just had a baby by some fat, yes fat, northern twat! Who the hell was she to say that to me, she was the size of a whale!! After she commented on my pouch, she admitted she had two children and believe me you could tell. The next day, I nursed one heavy hang over - chundering all day - even when I was on the phone to my friend I had to stop mid speech to chuck my guts up. Beaaauuutiful.

Then I took a little detoir to Bradford to visit my friend Lauren. My stay with her was only meant to last for a day or two which then ended up with me staying for a whole week. I think this speaks for itself, I had a really good time. First night there we went to Cockpit in Leeds - trust me there are some pyschos there! I remember trying to act proper suave  infront of this guy and put on my proper posh voice trying to make myself look cool and interesting - turns out he was from sunny California, way cooler than Newquay!! Who the hell was I trying to fool?! It's alright though, he then went on to ask if I thought he was hot, I mean really who asks that? Of course the only thing I could say was "I think your hanging" and walked off - served him right for being an arrogant arse. We went Tokyo's which was fun apart from Lauren getting so off her face and chundering everywhere. For once I had to be the one sobering up looking after the drunkard - let me tell you this - I'm not doing it EVER AGAIN. But I did have a fun night, we laughed about it the next day. Went to the pub, went shopping bought some killer items;) Met some really cool people had some laughs with them. Lauren's friends were amazing - some of them were right funny bitches! Had me in stitches laughing  "EAT YOUR DINNER MO" "Would you like some more gravy Mo?"  Oh looooord! Some could say I had a bit too much fun in bfd;) I  thoroughly enjoyed myself. But the time did come for me to leave, and I headed back to Uni.

After a week of Uni I was bored out of my brains. I needed some more excitement so I packed up again and left for Manchester to visit my friend Kara. Who new Manchester was so nice?!  They have trams there, I'd never been on a tram before, all too exciting! They have the best shops there, not gunna lie could of spent a fortune. There is a street called Oldham street which is just amaaaazing! There are some proper pyscho's wandering the streets there too - this one guy who I could only describe as INSANE stepped out infront of a bus waving his penis around for about 5 minutes. What a sight that was !  Me and Kara went to see Nicole Scherzinger who neither of us were really bothered about but was pleasantly surprised by how good she was live - my god that girl CAN infact sing incredibly. Kara, her mum Tina and a few other friends and myself went out on the town to the "gay village" - perfect! Even though I am straight, I tend to get on with gay males quite well, infact I'm known as a bit of a "fag hag." So we end up in the bar and this guy who I immediately new was gay approaches me - again as I didnt know anyone I wore dress and heels (I had bought the dress for my 18th almost two years ago and had never worn it) so I was feeling pretty alright! The guy went on to say how he worked for Dior and his partner and himself thought I was the best dressed in the place ;)   O la la ! He showered me with compliments which really boosted my confidence - even if it was coming from a gay man. This is why you gotta love them!  The club G A Y apparently is the place to be, so we ventured over there but unfortantly got rejected for looking too straight! Never in my life have I heard such a thing. I thought that was ludacris, say if I was a lesbian, does that mean I have to dress like a guy ? Appalling! After going in a few bars we end up in this club/bar which only had women in it. The place was crawling with women who I genuiely thought were men. Lesbian porn was displayed on the tv screens dotted around the place - but my god the drinks were cheap ! Was hitting the double vodkas HARD. So after scouting around the place looking for some talent I end up with a tranny. Bless, he or should I say she was the poorest excuse of a tranny I had ever seen. Through this though, I met a girl who lets just say... showed me a good time! But from this I can confirm that indeed, I am straight. As a result from the double vodka's I started to get a masssive headache so we headed home. Even when I woke up my head was still pounding - never have I suffered with hangovers so badly, over the last few months they have been the hangovers from hell! The time had come to say goodbye to Kara and goodbye to Manchester - but not for long as give it a month i'l be down again for a few days in Easter:D Can't wait!

So now I've been back at Uni for a few days - finally think I'm going to settle down here for a while get my head down. But who know's - I'm thinking Brighton next???




BRING IT ONNNNNNNNNNNNN.

Here's a little look at my time at these places.....

This was my life 2 years ago

[from Revelation 21:1-8]

Then, I saw a new heaven and a new earth

And I heard a great voice from the throne saying:

"Behold the dwelling of God is with men

He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people

And God himself will be with them

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes

And death shall be no more

Neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore

For these things will have passed away

To the thirsty I will give water without price

From the fountain of the water of life

He who conquers shall have this heritage

And I will be his God and he shall be my son

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted

As for the murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolators, and all liars

Their lot shall be in the lake that burns with fire"



Can a woman have sex like a man?

So we've all heard of the saying "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" indicating that the difference between the male and the female species are so opposite, it's as if they were from two different planets. I can honestly say I believe this 100%.

Throughout history stereotypically the man is the provider, the big strong masculine guy who brings home the bacon. Whereas the woman, stay's at home looking after the house and the children getting on with her daily chores; practically a slave. Welcome to the real world, this is no longer the case (thank god!). No longer do us females have to cower down to the male beings, we have our own minds, our own ambitions, our own dreams which we can achieve. Strong independent women can cope with out male approval, we can look after ourselves and not be forced to put our hopes and dreams on hold for them. Still to this day, males get a larger wage in comparsion to females. Is this fair? No. Is this right? No. Do men deserve a bigger pay packet? Fuck no. However on a more postive note, women are seen more as "equals" in comparison to previous years. Both male and females can vote, both can work, both have their own freewill but my question is, can a woman have sex like a man?

Not only do I struggle to understand what run's through a guy's head but find it hard to see how they can go about doing the things they do. For example, a guy can go out to a club/bar and find himself a bit of eyecandy. Then goes on to approach a girl with some cheesy chat up line or some kind of sexual innuendo comment. If they think that they've got their bait hooked, maybe buy her a drink or something. Next move is to feed her a bit of bullshit flattery which we (drunk) females usually fall for, go home with them then wam bam thank you mam - job done. After the drunken romp, the guy gets up and leaves promising he will get in touch but surprise surprise, he doesn't.

The lad gets a pat on the back for scoring himself some "Pussy" and then goes on to find himself a new piece of ass.

Now, if a girl does this what does she get? She get's called a slag, a slut, a whore. So why is it ok for a guy to get congratulated and a girl to get slated?

It's said that for girls, sex and emotions come as a package. When a girl is sleeping with someone usually feelings and the sense of attachment comes with it. This is true for guys too, but in a different way. Most girls are looking for love and most guys are looking for lust. For men it's easier for them to turn their feelings off during sex and only focus on the act and not the emotions that come with it. But, in this ever changing society, has it become acceptable now for a woman to do this to?

I think it's dangerous terroity having casual sex or just thinking purely about sex with no other involvement. It is believed that a woman can achieve better orgasm's with a person who they love or have strong feelings for. Biology proves that after a woman has an orgasm a burst of oxytocin aka "the cuddle hormone" is released. It makes a woman feel all warm and fuzzy inside creating attachment. So is it safer for a woman to have orgasm's with someone they love or fall into the worst situation, sleeping with someone who orginally was meant to be a "casual fling" and then after getting geniune feelings for them. The most horrid and awful type of feelings - unrequited feelings.

I think if you know what your getting yourself into then do it, but it's risky business and you maybe the one paying the price of getting hurt.

Maybe it is better to be more emotional, I'd rather feel something for someone than not feel anything at all. So really, who wants to have sex like a man?

I

Ok, I don't really know the purpose of this - I don't really know what I'm going on about or what I'm thinking, what I'm saying, it's just all utter bullshit really.

What I do know is that its Saturday today.
My name Is Imogen.
I have two dogs called Pip and Coopa.
My shoe size is 5/6.
I'm 5'3 - debatable.
I've got cracking tits - for sure.
I go to Uni.
I like the colour purple.
I talk quite loud.
Keeping things tidy means nothing to me.
I can cook really well.
Yes, I can knit.
I have a thing for people's bone structure.
Reality TV is my weakness.
Old peoples skin sometimes reminds me of chicken skin.
I think cat's eyes are beautiful.
I'm unlucky in love.
I currently have a MASSIVE bump and bruise on my forehead.
I've been a carer for my mum since I was about 13/14.
I like the word "Vile".
I like to travel.
I have an obsession with David Gandy.
I use to fancy Jedward.
Still do.
I've listened to "people are strange" by The Doors alot today.
I want a tattoo of a quil on my rib cage.
But I don't like the smell of tattoo studios.
I want to be famous.
I dont have A talent.
I have many.
Confidence is sometimes mistaken for arrogance.
I'm neither but I'm both.
I find guys with weird noses really attractive.
I find guys with their nose pierced extremely attractive.
I love putting conditioner in my hair.
I got a new perfume for christmas and I love it - Diesel,LoverDose.
I have a headache.
My head really hurts.
I think the person who I'm thinking about now is a C**T.
The person who I'm looking at now is lovely.
My eyes are green with the slightest hint of brown.
I guess that makes them hazel, but I class them as green.
I need to get up in 5 hours.
I call people funny names.
I never wore braces.

I've said "I" so many times... It's all about me.

Yeah it is.

Hello Boyfriend...

                                                         Well a girl can dreammmm...