February has been a rather interesting month for me! I literally feel like I've been living out of a suitcase.
Spent most of the month up north - firstly starting with my trip to Hartlepool (where my dad and his side of the family are from). It was great seeing the fam ! Lost my Mecca Bingo virginity - can't say it was pleasant but it was definitely an experience, who knew people took bingo so seriously?! Got all dolled up wearing dress and heels out which can I just say I NEVER do. Bare legs and everything. But I thought no-one knew me up here so why not - fuck it! Got extremely drunk - the smell of jager still haunts me after that night. Got asked if I had just had a baby by some fat, yes fat, northern twat! Who the hell was she to say that to me, she was the size of a whale!! After she commented on my pouch, she admitted she had two children and believe me you could tell. The next day, I nursed one heavy hang over - chundering all day - even when I was on the phone to my friend I had to stop mid speech to chuck my guts up. Beaaauuutiful.
Then I took a little detoir to Bradford to visit my friend Lauren. My stay with her was only meant to last for a day or two which then ended up with me staying for a whole week. I think this speaks for itself, I had a really good time. First night there we went to Cockpit in Leeds - trust me there are some pyschos there! I remember trying to act proper suave infront of this guy and put on my proper posh voice trying to make myself look cool and interesting - turns out he was from sunny California, way cooler than Newquay!! Who the hell was I trying to fool?! It's alright though, he then went on to ask if I thought he was hot, I mean really who asks that? Of course the only thing I could say was "I think your hanging" and walked off - served him right for being an arrogant arse. We went Tokyo's which was fun apart from Lauren getting so off her face and chundering everywhere. For once I had to be the one sobering up looking after the drunkard - let me tell you this - I'm not doing it EVER AGAIN. But I did have a fun night, we laughed about it the next day. Went to the pub, went shopping bought some killer items;) Met some really cool people had some laughs with them. Lauren's friends were amazing - some of them were right funny bitches! Had me in stitches laughing "EAT YOUR DINNER MO" "Would you like some more gravy Mo?" Oh looooord! Some could say I had a bit too much fun in bfd;) I thoroughly enjoyed myself. But the time did come for me to leave, and I headed back to Uni.
After a week of Uni I was bored out of my brains. I needed some more excitement so I packed up again and left for Manchester to visit my friend Kara. Who new Manchester was so nice?! They have trams there, I'd never been on a tram before, all too exciting! They have the best shops there, not gunna lie could of spent a fortune. There is a street called Oldham street which is just amaaaazing! There are some proper pyscho's wandering the streets there too - this one guy who I could only describe as INSANE stepped out infront of a bus waving his penis around for about 5 minutes. What a sight that was ! Me and Kara went to see Nicole Scherzinger who neither of us were really bothered about but was pleasantly surprised by how good she was live - my god that girl CAN infact sing incredibly. Kara, her mum Tina and a few other friends and myself went out on the town to the "gay village" - perfect! Even though I am straight, I tend to get on with gay males quite well, infact I'm known as a bit of a "fag hag." So we end up in the bar and this guy who I immediately new was gay approaches me - again as I didnt know anyone I wore dress and heels (I had bought the dress for my 18th almost two years ago and had never worn it) so I was feeling pretty alright! The guy went on to say how he worked for Dior and his partner and himself thought I was the best dressed in the place ;) O la la ! He showered me with compliments which really boosted my confidence - even if it was coming from a gay man. This is why you gotta love them! The club G A Y apparently is the place to be, so we ventured over there but unfortantly got rejected for looking too straight! Never in my life have I heard such a thing. I thought that was ludacris, say if I was a lesbian, does that mean I have to dress like a guy ? Appalling! After going in a few bars we end up in this club/bar which only had women in it. The place was crawling with women who I genuiely thought were men. Lesbian porn was displayed on the tv screens dotted around the place - but my god the drinks were cheap ! Was hitting the double vodkas HARD. So after scouting around the place looking for some talent I end up with a tranny. Bless, he or should I say she was the poorest excuse of a tranny I had ever seen. Through this though, I met a girl who lets just say... showed me a good time! But from this I can confirm that indeed, I am straight. As a result from the double vodka's I started to get a masssive headache so we headed home. Even when I woke up my head was still pounding - never have I suffered with hangovers so badly, over the last few months they have been the hangovers from hell! The time had come to say goodbye to Kara and goodbye to Manchester - but not for long as give it a month i'l be down again for a few days in Easter:D Can't wait!
So now I've been back at Uni for a few days - finally think I'm going to settle down here for a while get my head down. But who know's - I'm thinking Brighton next???
BRING IT ONNNNNNNNNNNNN.
Here's a little look at my time at these places.....
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